From the category archives:

Big Chop

Post image for Ask Kcurly-Self Concious

Ask Kcurly-Self Concious

by kcurly on April 30, 2011

in Big Chop,Body and Mind,Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow (Random Hair Thoughts)

Email from Ashley:

Hi kcurly, Im ashley (age 18) and I am thrilled to be going natural. The problem is, I dont know what protective styles to use because I’m sooo self conscious about my forehead! It may sound a bit miniscule to you or even absurd but my forehead is what’s holding me back from embracing the true look of my natural hair. Do you have any suggestions??

Through my research, most of the styles I’ve seen have the forehead exposed…and that really scares me. Perhaps the solution is to just get over it, and embrace my forehead…lol. Please help. So far, I’ve been using Carols Daughters hair products and Cantu Shea Butter products. Attached is a picture of how I’ve been wearing my hair.

p.s. I didnt do the big chop, my relaxed hair was cut into a short style.

Ashley,

Yes, ma’am, you have the solution.
Embrace your face. People get mad when I say that, but your forehead is a part of your face. I did a post on loving your forehead awhile back:
What do I see in this picture? A beautiful young woman. I don’t see a conehead forehead :) It’s funny how we try to hide behind hair. Hair should be something that frames our face, not hides it.

 

{ 8 comments }

Readers Share: Big Chop Video

by kcurly on March 30, 2011

in Big Chop,Featured Newly Natural,Readers Share

Hi KCurly!

You should definitely check this out! It’s a short film created by Steven Russell focused around my ‘Big Chop’. It’s absolutely amazing and I hope you think it is too. It would be great if you featured it on your website. The film also features a poem paying homage to natural hair written by Steven.

Thanks!

Christa

Thanks for sharing Christa!  I loved the video and I love your fro! Congrats!

(FYI ,there is a tad bit of cussing in the video for anyone that might be at work or around kids)

{ 4 comments }

Ask Kcurly- Wash N Go’s and a Stylist’s Refusal to Perform a BC

by kcurly on February 17, 2011

in Ask Kcurly,Big Chop,Wash N Gos,Winter routines/Protection from the cold

Email from Chana:

Hi Kcurly,

I have been natural for about a year now, and I wear a wash and go everyday, b/c I have no clue how to do anything else, and I love my curl pattern so I’m scared I will disturb it.  I know it probably sounds crazy, but I’m new to this.  My regimen includes co-washing with Tresemme Naturals avocado conditioner, leave in is Oyin honey hemp, moisturizer Ohm sweet hair pudding, and styler KCCC.  I was using Afroveda, but I saw the price hike, and I won’t be purchasing anytime soon!  I am finishing my first year of nursing school, and being natural is great, but I feel like I’m not doing enough for my hair? I have attached some pics ( i did not put anything on my hair today, and it has not been washed in 2wks :( ), I would greatly appreciate any suggestions…Thanks sooooooooooo much!

Chana

Chana!

Your hair is beautiful girl. Love the color too :)

Questions for you: Does your hair feel healthy to you? Are you happy with it? Does wearing wash n go’s  fit into your lifestyle?

If the answer to all of these is “yes” then I wouldn’t change a thing. You are in nursing school, also known (officially) as the depths of Hell. Whatever is easiest for you is what I would stick to (unless you’re looking for a change).

As for damaging your curl pattern, the only things that are likely to do that are chemicals and heat damage. As your hair gets longer sometimes the pattern changes because of the weight of the hair. Styles such as twists, braids, twist outs, etc are not going to change your pattern.

If wash n go’s are what your hair likes, it’s thriving, and you like wearing them, then I say stick with them. I personally can not do a lot of wash n go’s because I experience knots and dryness but everyone is different. You seem to have a solid routine that works for you. If you want to change things up without trying a different style, you can always sport some new hair accessories. If you’d like to try some new styles, the only thing I can suggest is to pick a style, view a tutorial and  get to practicing!  :)

Email from Lucy:

Hello Kcurly,

I just stumbled on your blog today whilst researching what to do now I’ve done the big chop. to read about it pls click here: http://theprincesspoetslifeadventures.blogspot.com/2010/12/i-actually-did-it-my-big-chop.html

I love your blog! I researched and everything but I still feel like I haven’t gotten a hang of a regime. I know to give myself time as I only bc on Sunday! But going to work everyday especially here in the UK with our stupid Wintery weather, I don’t think it is smart to wash & go everyday but I don’t know what to do to revive me mashed up hair. Do you think spritzing it with water or a leave-in will help?

I also wanted to ask about your life as a SAHM, I’m intending on staying home when my lil bean is born & would like some advice/tips on motherhood in general?

Thank you so much,

Lucy aka princesspoet!

Heya Lucy. Congrats on your BC!

I hate having a wet head in the winter too, so I can’t blame you for not wanting to do wash n go’s everyday. A spritz or leave in is definitely an option. It’s something you may have to play around with. I find that applying your product, scrunching it in very well, and then shaking the hair out helps to refresh the hair.

However I’d probably go for a protective style. I don’t know how much hair you will have, but some fingercoils or twists would eliminate the need for frequent washing.

As for the mothering thing, it’s something I’m still really learning. I will tell you this: Two is a lot different than one! You will have a lot of people telling you how to raise your child, but remember that the only “right” way is the way that you feel in your heart is right. I do listen to advice, research the subject, and then make my decisions.  I breastfeed, I cloth diaper, I more than likely will homeschool, so I know about getting flack for parenting styles.

My general pieces of advice are to get as much rest as you can, try to get some “me” time in, try not to go crazy, try not to kill the baby’s father…and love every minute of it :)

Email from Sandra:

Hi Kcurly,

I went to the hairdresser last night for the big chop and she said no.  That she thought I would not like it.  So here I am today searching for more reinforcement.  I believe I am ready.  I have about 2 inches of new growth but just wanted it shaved down.  She was like my edges are extremely thin and it would not be a good look.  What do you think?  Please give me your opinion.  I was thinking once I get down to the hair on my scalp I could see and take care of my edges and scalp better.

I am ready but she made me feel like I would look crazy.

Sandra

She said no??! I’m really stumped over why these stylists are refusing to do a service that they are paid to perform. I suppose some of them feel that a drastic cut will devastate the client and they would rather not deal with a potential problem. Oh well…

Onto your question…I don’t tell people to chop, but if it were me, I would BC. Your edges are going to be thin either way. (By the way, are your edges really that thin or was this just her excuse?) I suppose she means that the advantage of not chopping would be that you could hide your edges with the rest of your hair? That is true, but if I were feeling that self conscious about thin edges, I’d get a few silk or satin scarves to rock while my edges grew in. Or I would just rock it and tell anyone who made a comment they could go kick rocks :)

It’s not really important what I (or the stylist) thinks though, it’s all about you. Please let me know what you decide :)

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Post image for Ask Kcurly: BC Blues

Ask Kcurly: BC Blues

by kcurly on February 9, 2010

in Ask Kcurly,Big Chop

Hi!

I had been transitioning since August 2008 and finally decided to chop off the relaxed hair a few weeks back. When I cut off my hair, I just KNEW my hair was going to have a great curl. I figured wrong! My hair ended up looking similar to yours after your BC. What products did you use to get the curl definition?

Thanks in advance,

Toiaya

Tolaya,

Congrats on your BC! First of all, a lot of people kind of have “after shocks” following the BC. In other words,  your hair can sometimes act a little off. A lot of people experience dryness, etc.

Before I go into curl definition, I must first make a point that I often try to get across here. My hair did not turn out as I envisioned it when going natural. You have to learn to love your hair for what it is. It’s easy for me to type that, but a lot harder for it to be ingrained in the psyche. Believe me, I know.

If relaxed Kcurly could see present Kcurly’s hair, she probably would not have gone natural. My hair texture, though curly, is not what I initially envisioned. I have mentally transitioned, as they say on the hair forums, to accept my hair as it grows out of my head (along with all of the wonderful things it can do!).

I try to encourage newly natural ladies to not focus so much on curl definition. You will go crazy and use up a lot of product, money, and time. I went through a time period when I was washing my hair 2-3 times a day to get the perfect curl. Looking back, that’s ridiculous. There’s nothing wrong with experimenting at all, but I was obsessed with having loose curls. I was doing everything I could not to have a ‘fro.

Better energy can be spent on learning more about what your hair can do instead of trying to make it into someone else’s hair.  All of this is said with love! And don’t get wrong, I’m not against defining one’s curls. I just think one should love one’s hair regardless of it curls or not.

So, having said all that, here is some information for curl definition. I know you asked about products, but I’ve found that technique is usually more important than the products. But check out my Products I Love section for recommendations as well as combination examples.

My first advice is to pamper your hair. Get the moisture going and take care of it. If you have curls or coils, they will come out on their own when your hair is healthy and moisturized.

I did a post awhile back on Curl Definition . You can find some tips there for what worked for me. Combing my hair makes the curls separate, so if your hair is like mine, you may want to try fingercombing to encourage curls. Also piggybacking off a style like a twist out or braid out encourages my hair to curl. My hair is curly, but not incredibly so.

You may also want to take a look at Terri’s Curly Primer method. It did not work for me and her product recommendations didn’t agree with my hair, but a lot of people swear by it. Also similar, Miss Jessie’s has a good shingling guide. You can substitute similar products if you don’t have access to MJ’s.

Anyway, I hope this post helped you some and I know you will come to love your hair once you two get to know each other better. :)

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Post image for Natural in the Military: Taking Action

Natural in the Military: Taking Action

by kcurly on February 6, 2010

in Big Chop,Military

After hearing “D”s story, I decided to delve deeper into natural hair in the military. There are obviously some biased people in power who, despite the clearly defined regulations in place,  continue to wage a nonexistent war against natural hair. Also unfortunate, these biased people seem to be mostly other African Americans.

Through YouTube, I found a woman in uniform with a beautiful TWA telling her experience of how she fought back against the negative comments she received. Here is Fadiah’s YouTube channel. After viewing her video (embedded below) I contacted her for an interview. She agreed to share her experience here and I hope someone out there benefits from it! Thank you, girl! I love your fro! I also admire you for not buckling under!

Kcurly: Were you natural going into the military?.

When I went to Basic Training in 2007, I was transitioning and I became discouraged because the drill sergeants picked on me about my hair and said I needed it relaxed for graduation, so I gave in because I wanted to graduate BCT. Then in 2008 I did my first BC, I once again I got discouraged by my peers and gave in. I was really upset with myself this time and decided to take charge, so August 3 2009 I did my second BC and now I refuse to let the army change my character and being true to myself as a natural.

Kcurly: Had you noticed any other naturals also in service?

I have noticed a lot of natural haired women in the military but they all keep it hidden with braids and weaves. Don’t get me wrong I do rock braids as a protective style when I’m doing field training or to let my hair breathe. (I’m not going to be ashamed of my natural hair in uniform like other females are). A lot of women commend me on my boldness in rocking my afro puff to work but don’t have enough courage themselves to do so as well. A lot of other women keep their hair low cut like a fade as well.

Kcurly: When did you BC and after how long of a transition?

My first BC was January 17, 2008 and I transitioned for four months. My second BC was August 3, 2009 and I did not transition.

Kcurly: What styles did you use to transition?

For my first BC while transitioning I wore kinky twists.

Kcurly: What negative things were said to you about your hair? Was there repeated harassment?

From friends I got the usual “why would you do that, you look better with relaxed hair.” comment. My fellow soldiers would say “are you going to do something with your hair” “as a female soldier you must look uniformed like the rest,” “since when did afros become acceptable in the army” “…hmm that’s different” and so forth.

Kcurly: What actions did you take to defend wearing your hair natural?

Being a junior ranking soldier I simply pulled out my army regulation 670-1 and explained that my hair is uniformed, it is not causing a distraction or over 5 inches in bulk, it is kept neat away from my face and off my collar. I would also elaborate that this is the texture of my hair and I was born with it and it was what God intended me to have and every black women in the military also has a different texture close to mine but they alter it with harsh chemicals to be like the European women.

Kcurly: What have you learned from this experience that you can take with you for the rest of your life?

Being natural has taught me to accept myself for who I am and to fight what I believe in life. I should allow other people to tell me what I should appear to be in their eyes because at the end of the day I have to make myself happy.

{ 18 comments }

Post image for Ask Kcurly- Why don’t I love my hair?

Ask Kcurly- Why don’t I love my hair?

by kcurly on December 31, 2009

in Ask Kcurly,Big Chop,Body and Mind

An email from T:

Hello K Curly!

Since finding your blog, I have been a faithful reader. In fact, I’m a natural hair blog junkie! I think natural hair is absolutely beautiful! I love seeing pictures of women (and men) who are confident enough to wear their hair in gorgeous natural styles.

Except when I see pictures of myself.

See, I’ve been natural for over a year now. I’ve been hiding it with braids for more than half of that time. In May 2008, I just chopped it off. I had no real purpose or goal in mind, just became very frustrated and cut it all off. And I loved it! I got compliments all of the time about my short hair and how well it suited me. As time went on and my hair started to grow (not fast enough for my liking), I became frustrated again. I didn’t know how to care for my hair. My mother helped a bit, but added her two cents about the benefits of a relaxer every chance she got. I decided to braid my hair to give myself a break. I loved the versatility of braids…and (I’m almost embarrassed to admit) the length. I enjoyed finally having what I never had: long, healthy hair. I met a guy who got used to me wearing braids. I didn’t want to scare him off by wearing my ‘fro, especially since I’ve heard him say that he hates short hair on women.

I’m not sure why I feel the way I do, but I’m very self-conscious of my hair. Looking at pictures, its gorgeous! Sometimes, I can’t believe that’s me! Braiding my hair usually helps me ignore these feelings, but once I take my braids out, they reappear. I hate it.

I want to feel good about myself and I’m starting at the top. In 2010, my New Years Resolution is to learn to love and care for my hair as it deserves. I’m going to commit to at least ninety days before I decide to try another style, be it braiding or a relaxer. Do you have any suggestions for how I can stay motivated? Any advice on how to promote growth?

I look forward to reading your blog to find cool products to try on my hair and maybe have a few to suggest to you!

Best wishes for a safe and happy new year!

–T.

Oh T, I just want to give you a big cyber hug! You are so beautiful and, deep down, you know it, but those preconceived notions of beauty that are beaten into us from birth are hard to shake.

I think sometimes when you BC, you look in the mirror and your brain rejects what it sees. It sends a clear signal that “This is not right” . You have been used to seeing yourself a certain way, with a certain hairstyle for however long, and now you see a totally different head of hair, and a type of hair that has been looked down on for centuries. Only time seeing yourself with your hair will help.

I swear the first month after my BC I did a double take  everytime I crossed a mirror. I still sometimes feel a sense of surprise when I see my reflection.

First, I would suggest that you maybe step away from the braids for a bit. They can be a wonderful protective style, but it seems they are hampering you from bonding with your hair. If you feel that you are unable to style your hair right now or it’s a bad time, try to go to a natural hair salon if you have one in your area. Let them put in some coils or twists or whatever you want.

I really suggest that you learn how to style your own hair.

Taking a break from braids will also help you learn to work with your hair. There is definitely a learning curve to it. I noticed that you didn’t say what styles you tried after you got the braids out. There are tons of tutorials, videos, and forums you can glean information from on styling. I can’t promise that it will be easy because I had my own styling problems to get over before I found a comfortable routine. And guess what?

There are still styles (damn you rollersetting!) that I haven’t gotten the hang of. Practice makes perfect.

And for days when perfection or near-perfection is evasive, a nice hat or wig is a girl’s best friend.

For motivation, I would suggest you surround yourself with people who accept/love natural hair and certainly avoid people who put it down. This is hard to do when your family members may be constantly harping on you about it, but, as I like to say, “As you grow your natural hair, you also need to grow a thick skin to go with it”.

If you are unable to find someone in your everyday life to talk about hair with, find some online buddies in forums or Facebook. Sometimes online support is better than none.

As for the man in your life, if he really cares for you, how short your hair is should not be an issue. Men are visual creatures and they also have been victims of the same brainwashing that we have. All of that aside, if your hair being natural runs him off, it will show what kind of person he is.

Overall, I would say that you are not confident with your hair yet. Again, this will take time. Know that you and your hair are beautiful. This is the way your were meant to be. I hope other readers will be able to give your further encouragement. *big hugs*

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Ask Kcurly–BC essentials

Thumbnail image for Ask Kcurly–BC essentials November 23, 2009

Hi there, I’ve been a follower of your blog for a couple of months now, luv it. My BC is scheduled for December 4, and now that it’s scheduled I’m nervous about being unprepared. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve known this was coming for some time now and I’ve started to purchase a few products, [...]

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Size and the BC

September 23, 2009

I thought long and hard about writing this post because this can be a sensitive topic of discussion. Let’s be real here, I don’t even like to hear the words “heavy” or “big” and certainly not “fat” when it comes to someone describing me. So I know that someone, somewhere might feel this post is [...]

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The Summer Big Chop

July 9, 2009

It’s finally July. You’ve perservered through a whole winter with two textures battling it out on your head. You’ve been researching your for what seems like years and are too excited about your transition to the natural side.You’ve got your afro pick ready in hand for the big day…or for us the Big Chop. Spring/Summer [...]

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