From the category archives:

Body and Mind

Disturbing store experience

by kcurly on September 22, 2011

in Body and Mind,Kids and Hair,Random Hair Pictures

And no, this is not about hair products.

This is about dolls. Dolls and little girls. If you follow me on Twitter, you may have read some of this story already.

I was in the store letting my son spend his birthday money. I was able to drag him away from the Lego section long enough to look over the dolls, just out of curiosity. My best friend had told me it was hard for her to find African American dolls in the stores she’d gone to. Considering she lives near an area that is almost 60 percent black, I was incredibly surprised.

During my search, I found quite a few more than I’d expected….most of them with straight hair. These beauties caught my eye.

I never had a Cabbage Patch doll when I was a kid but these are fantastic!! Oh my gosh! Granted, I wish they had some AA dolls with differing hair types but to see some that actually have curly fros is a big improvement from what I remember.

Anyway, this was not the disturbing part. My son found something on the opposite side of the aisle that caught his attention (goodness knows what, that aisle was an explosion of pink) when a little AA girl walked up with her mom.

I’d heard the mom tell the little girl that she needed to pick a black doll. The little girl already had a black doll with straight hair in one hand and put it on the floor when she spotted the Cabbage Patch dolls I posted above. She picked up one of the dolls and looked at it for a long time.

Then, as she put it back on the shelf, she said “I don’t want her, her hair is too nappy”. She picked up the straight haired doll and they left.

I know this was not my child and this was not my business, but I was devastated!

A lot of moms are big into picking dolls of color for their children because (I’m assuming) you want the child to have a doll that looks like them. But is it any better when you are picking a doll with skin like an African American but not hair like an African American?

Perhaps I am reading too much into it. Perhaps I should just be happy that the little girl picked a black doll. Perhaps she already has some kinky/curly haired dolls at home and wanted some variety with a straight haired doll.

Perhaps I just need to stay out of the doll aisle until my little girl reaches an age where she cares about dolls at all.

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps…

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Hair Peace: A Natural Hair Anthem

by kcurly on September 12, 2011

in Body and Mind,Featured Ladies

Thanks to Essence for sharing this video with us! I thought many of you ladies out there might enjoy it.

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A Natural Story–Nadine!!

by kcurly on July 24, 2011

in A Natural Story,Body and Mind,Featured Ladies,Tips

Permed Hair

How long did you transition?

I was transitioning for about 6 months. I wasn’t too sure if I was going to go natural. Never in a million years would I have thought about going natural. I loved my Halle Berry and Kelis haircuts. But my hair kept shedding.

So I decided to give my hair a break from the perm; I put braids in my hair. November 2009, I woke up one morning and decided to take out my braids. I looked at my hair and was like “I think it’s time”. I went into the mirror and chopped my hair. I had about an inch of hair left.

Transitioning Styles

What styles did you transition with?

My transitional styles were braids and weaves.

What are your favorite products so far?

Unfortunately, I am still struggling with finding the right products for my hair. I’ve spent so much money on products, but nothing seems to work. My hair is so thick and dry, the ladies in the office where I use to work, felt so bad for me, they gave me all these products to try; they didn’t work. I’m still searching.

What do you love most about your hair?

I love the thickness and curl my hair has!!! It’s so sad, but since I was 11, I had a perm. I forgot what my “real” hair looks like.

Was the manner in which you BC’d?

Not an expert in cutting hair, but I used a pair of scissors from a beauty supply store.

Natural Styles

List any opposition/problems you faced along the way.

WOW!!! I was so not prepared for the reaction I got. So after I did the BC that day, I felt so LIBERATED and true to who I really am, a beautiful Black women, I decided to take a walk outside with my new hairdo (Plus I was hungry, so I had to make a run to the store).

Soon as I stepped out the door, my heart started beating fast. Instead of taking my normal route to the store, I took a different way; I was too scared. Before I got to the first block, this guy said to me “you’re a beautiful sister”. Boy did that boost my confidence. I was so confident, on my way back; I decided to take my normal route home.

On my way back home, with a few houses before mine, these little boys on my block starting running behind me and making fun of me. I was so not prepared for that; in addition to the other problems I would soon face. I noticed the same guys that tried talking to me at school, train, outside when I’m walking etc, stopped talking to me. There have been other not so good experiences that I have had since I first cut my hair.

But another one that stood out for me was in class. We had to partner up and do various massage techniques to the head. By the time my partner was done with me, her hands and the massage table was so greasy, she had to step out to wash her hands because of the amount of grease I had in my hair (My hair was so dry, I was adding loads of grease to it).

Other problems: MAJOR dryness, shrinkage, inability to comb my hair.

Growth and progress

Advice for newly natural ladies.

We all know about having good overall heath; nutrition, water, exercise, sunshine, proper air, temperance, and hair maintenance. However, one we may sometimes I overall look is regular check-ups with your doctor. A few months having gone natural, I noticed, two areas in the back of my head were so dry, itchy and the hair kept coming out.

Long story short, I saw my dermatologist; they sampled a piece of my scalp. When the results came back, the doctor said I had eczema. My doctor gave me a topical treatment for my hair. My hair has grown back since then, but it’s still dry.

—-

Nadine, 

I normally comment at the beginning of the post, but I wanted to say a lot and didn’t want to take away from your feature.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Your story had me very emotional. This thing called hair is powerful. 

I can tell by these pictures that you are a bad chick with gorgeous healthy hair and glowing beautiful skin. I am so sorry for all of the negativity you have experienced but I am so happy that you have come through it with such a positive attitude. 

I did want to make some suggestions based on your narrative:

Greasy hair does not always equal moisturized hair. A lot of products, especially those containing mineral oil and petroleum, will give the hair some shine and coat the hair (giving the appearance of moisturizing) but in reality, it’s not moisturizing the hair. When I touch my hair, I can feel some product, but it’s not completely drenched. (Click here and here to see my tips for moisture). 

I’m glad your doctor recognized your eczema for what it was! You are absolutely right that so many of us, myself included, will forgo seeing the doctor when we really need to be seen on a regular basis. For your eczema, you may want to (if you haven’t done this already) try some extra virgin coconut oil.  It works wonders for the condition. I don’t find it to be the most moisturizing thing for my hair, but I love it on my scalp and also to seal or oil rinse. 

Again, thank you for your story because I know there is a woman right now reading this who will continue her natural hair journey because of you!

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Readers Share-Remember Ashley?

by kcurly on June 24, 2011

in Body and Mind,Readers Share

You may remember Ashley from this post about being afraid to bare her forehead. Well, she’s starting to love that whole face, forehead included! I love it! Thanks for sharing!

Hi Kcurly :) Its Ashley again…just wanted to show you that I got over my forehead…and its truly liberating! Thank you so much!!

In this picture I used eco styler gel to smooth down the front and sides of my hair then put a headband around it and poofed out the back.

 

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Don’t want sweat drenched hair? I’ve got the workout for you!

by kcurly on June 10, 2011

in Body and Mind,Fitness,Tips,Uncategorized,Weight Loss

If you’ve been around enough African American females, then you’ve probably heard the dismay expressed over sweating too much and ruining one’s hair. In fact, you may have been the one to share this particular sentiment ( I know I have!).

No, it’s no secret that many of us avoid swimming and working out because of our hair. Most people would associate this with just relaxed heads but I’ve heard many a natural lady complain about a twistout going awry because of an intense workout.

Though I still think everyone should get out there and workout even if you’ve got freshly a freshly flat ironed ‘do, I’m not going to sit here and pretend that it’s easy to maintain such a style when you’re sweating like a hog.

Having said that, there’s no reason to sit there like a lump on  log either. So, here are a few ways to keep active with less possibility of ruining your ‘do.

Yoga


Downward Dog…Crane…Frog…Cobra…

No, not a trip to the zoo. It’s a trip to a relaxed and toned body!

Yoga can be for anyone. Whether you’re old or young, healthy or sick, yoga can be incorporated to fit your needs. No, you don’t have to look like old dude in the picture above. There are some very simple poses that don’t require you to turn into a human pretzel.

Here are some benefits of yoga:

  • In some individuals,it improves blood circulation, heart rate, respiratory rate, and cardiac endurance.
  • It can improve your posture
  • More vigorous forms of yoga can improve muscle tone

Even though yoga has seeds in Buddhism and Hinduism, many other religions have found it to expand prayer and meditation as well. If you’ve never tried mediation, please do. On a stressful day, it really helps me to pull things together.

Most gyms that I’ve been to usually offer yoga classes, but you can do it at home. There are plenty of resources online and at the bookstore.

Tai Chi



Have you ever wanted to say that you are practiced in martial arts? Well, ta chi might be for you! (Do I sound like an informercial?)

It’s a soft martial art but still good for your body. I’ll admit, that most people I see doing it are older but I’ve tried it and found it to be very relaxing as well as a good stretch for my body. You basically perform a series of poses while moving gracefully…I’m not graceful, but even I felt my gracefulness boost a bit :)

Even though you usually see people moving slowly when doing these poses, there are some faster paced forms of tai chi as well.

Potential benefits:

  • Reducing anxiety and depression
  • Improving balance, flexibility and muscle strength
  • Reducing falls in older adults
  • Improving sleep quality
  • Lowering blood pressure
  • Improving cardiovascular fitness in older adult
  • Relieving chronic pain
  • Increasing energy, endurance and agility
  • Improving overall feelings of well-being

Strength Training

We all know that there is a big difference between being flabby skinny:

and being toned skinny:

Even if you do have a lot of fat still, having some toned muscle under it can make it appear firmer. Other benefits of strength training:

  • Improves muscle tone (for both appearance and functional reasons like posture)
  • Protects bone health
  • Disease prevention (strength training can be as helpful as medication for arthritis)
  • Improves mood
  • Boost energy levels
  • Burns calories both during and after (you burn more calories at rest)

This site is so cool because it not only shows you different strength training exercises, but it gives you a video short (some with both male and female versions) of each exercise. I love it!

Other suggestions

If the above ideas don’t work for you, you can try:

  • toning down your usual workout. Take a stroll outside for pleasure.
  • working out indoors
  • For  other tips on working out while wearing your hair straight, click here. There you will find how I keep up my natural flat ironed hair and still stay in my workout routine.

I want to add that this is one reason I could never go back to relaxers or wearing my hair pressed all the time. Even though I understand the sentiment, I think it’s ridiculous to lose the benefits of exercise simply for hair.

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Post image for Ask Kcurly-Self Concious

Ask Kcurly-Self Concious

by kcurly on April 30, 2011

in Big Chop,Body and Mind,Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow (Random Hair Thoughts)

Email from Ashley:

Hi kcurly, Im ashley (age 18) and I am thrilled to be going natural. The problem is, I dont know what protective styles to use because I’m sooo self conscious about my forehead! It may sound a bit miniscule to you or even absurd but my forehead is what’s holding me back from embracing the true look of my natural hair. Do you have any suggestions??

Through my research, most of the styles I’ve seen have the forehead exposed…and that really scares me. Perhaps the solution is to just get over it, and embrace my forehead…lol. Please help. So far, I’ve been using Carols Daughters hair products and Cantu Shea Butter products. Attached is a picture of how I’ve been wearing my hair.

p.s. I didnt do the big chop, my relaxed hair was cut into a short style.

Ashley,

Yes, ma’am, you have the solution.
Embrace your face. People get mad when I say that, but your forehead is a part of your face. I did a post on loving your forehead awhile back:
What do I see in this picture? A beautiful young woman. I don’t see a conehead forehead :) It’s funny how we try to hide behind hair. Hair should be something that frames our face, not hides it.

 

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Ask Kcurly-Potassium Hydroxide/Weaves/Hair Idols

Thumbnail image for Ask Kcurly-Potassium Hydroxide/Weaves/Hair Idols January 15, 2011

An email from Lolita: Hi Kcurly, I read your blog almost everyday.  I would like to start off by saying thank you for all of the research and information that you share with “us curlies”.  If it were not for your site, I would not have known what to do when I first went natural. [...]

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Colorstruck

February 9, 2010

Newly Natural often addresses the discrimination that kinky hair receives on a regular basis. It seems to be an acceptable thing to put down the natural texture of African American hair. It seems that one can use the terms “good hair” and “bad hair” with  little to no repercussions. I remember thinking how odd it [...]

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Little Girls and Relaxers

February 5, 2010

Growing up, we had a family tradition that little girls waited until the age of 11 or 12 to get a relaxer. When I went to school, other African American girls were , for the most part, also natural. It may have been pressed or blowdried, but it was not relaxed. I fondly remember coming [...]

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Ask Kcurly- Why don’t I love my hair?

Thumbnail image for Ask Kcurly- Why don’t I love my hair? December 31, 2009

An email from T: Hello K Curly! Since finding your blog, I have been a faithful reader. In fact, I’m a natural hair blog junkie! I think natural hair is absolutely beautiful! I love seeing pictures of women (and men) who are confident enough to wear their hair in gorgeous natural styles. Except when I [...]

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Split Earlobes

Thumbnail image for Split Earlobes November 24, 2009

We natural ladies (and ladies in general) love some big, dangly earrings to compliment our big beautiful hair. But, as with some things fashion related, it can cause permanent damage : to your tender earlobes. I remember my mother having  very elongated holes in her ears. I still see this problem when out and about. [...]

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Little Boys and Natural Hair

November 18, 2009

We always put an emphasis on instilling a sense of pride in young African American girls where their hair is concerned. It is important that it is done starting very early in life and that it continues throughout their child and teen years. However, no one seems to touch on the subject of the ideas [...]

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Why it matters

November 16, 2009

Sorry there hasn’t been a  new post lately, I’m one tired lady! I’ll be back full force when I get some rest. But here’s an article that was on CNN.com a few months ago that I found interesting I wanted to share here. NEW YORK (CNN) — For too many little black girls, it was [...]

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Article in the Miami Herald

November 4, 2009

Leonard Pitts Jr., who won the Pulitzer Prize in 2004, wrote a wonderful article in response to the movie “Good Hair” Here is the article, but my favorite quote is below: So go on, sister, do what you do. I ain’t mad at’cha. But neither am I fooled by your chemicals and weaves. I am [...]

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Soda and your health

Thumbnail image for Soda and your health November 3, 2009

For the last three or four weeks, I may not have been following my calorie restriction and I may have eaten a ton of Halloween candy. But one thing I can brag about is having kicked the addiction to diet soda. A lot of you may be wondering what the big deal is. If you’re [...]

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