Jennifer, thank you so much for this. I think it’s important to note that you can be natural for years and still have those childhood and media ideals in your head. These ideals can make us self conscious for a long time. Kudos to you for continuing to learn and love your hair!
See more of Jennifer and her beautiful tresses at her blog: http://beingpurposeful.wordpress.com
My last perm was in 2001.
But only recently have I learned how to properly take care of my hair, and worn it in its full bushy glory on a weekly basis. I have learned conditioner is my BFF, and that I can not leave my hair in twists or braids for months at a time (or out for more than a few days) without the consequences of dealing with loc-ed pieces all over. I have learned that my hair does fall out (because its suppose to), but I have a gazillion hairs on my head so I should not panic when I seen those gold curlicue pieces on the floor. I have learned that my hair doesn’t have the ability to lay flat on my hair in any style I have, and I look good with poofy hair.
All in all, it’s been a challenge to love my natural curly hair, and I think I am succeeding.
Attitudes I’ve had about my hair stem from what is common in society and what is common in my family. Women wearing natural hair styles are few in any location in the US; Bushes, afros, puffs, large ‘Celie’ braids, and twists are not seen as frequently as weaves, extensions, or just permed straightened hair. Finding a salon which does not bulk at the texture of my hair OR expect me to ask for a perm are few and far between. I go to one salon in my area when I have some extra income, but primarily I do it myself.
I only know 1 family member beside myself who wears her hair natural in public, and the rest have perms, wigs, or weaves. Growing up I did not have any role models for my keeping my hair natural or any real guidance on how to take care of my permed hair. My mom gave me a relaxer when I was 7 years old, and since then I felt like I had a perpetual bad hair day. I never could maintain my hair and I just put it into ponytails or wore it in braids. I had split ends all the time, and my hair never really grew beyond shoulder length. My hair is dense, which always posed a problem for styling my permed hair because it never laid flat, no matter what I did, permed, wore a scarf, some flat ironing here and there…it always turned into puffed-up mass on my head. So that proper laying down hairstyle with some curly ends was always a little out of reach for me.
Even after I stopped perming, I continued to just wear my hair in braids , because it was easy, cheap and low maintenance, but in retrospect my hair was ok, but not ‘healthy.’
I continued that practice until a few years ago after researching how to take care of natural hair, after a desire to experiment more with my hair. So now I mix between French braids, twists, and an afro – twists being my dominate style. I’ve avoiding getting braids now because my hair is longer (and I swear thicker) and the small braids I use to wear would take at least 2 days and require a lot of upper arm strength. I don’t do small twists anymore either unless I get them done at the salon.
For me, as a super self-conscious individuals, I am still not accustomed to compliments or stares as I walk through the city with a bush or large twists. People who walk past me and start laughing are the enemies of my self-esteem – and I constantly have to adjust my thinking, because 99% of the time they are NOT laughing at me. I have to say a mantra to myself that “I am not my hair, but my hair is my choice and a reflector of who I am, where I come from, and where I am going.”
You can see LaTia’s story here. Congrats to being on the grow, girl! Thanks for the update, I love ‘em!
Hey KCurly!
Its LaTia again I was a newly natural a couple months ago. I’m writing because I did a semi length check & my growth is amazing!!! I’m so excited. My hair never grew this fast when I was on the creamy crack!! Now its like a weed and I’m loving it
The 1st picture is of my afro back in April 2010 and the 2nd is this June 2010…
Also, I hope everything is going well with you. I know being pregnant & having a kid already is tough. I’m not a mother but my friends are. I wish you a happy & healthy pregnancy & as many naps as you can get!
L. Nicole, thanks for being a part of both of my blogs…to improve your hair and body are such big goals, but we can do it! I loved reading your story, it’s very inspiring. You are tres chic with your natural hair!!
Kcurly,
I am a part of your challenge on runninginafatsuit, so I thought I would share my natural hair story with you as well. I had previously been natural 2003-2005. I relaxed my hair in 2005 because I was going to NYC and thought a perm would be easier to deal with during the trip in August when it was beyond hot. I regretted it every day after that. So, for two years I did the perm thing. I had my last relaxer in November 2007. This time I had not planned to go natural, it just sort of happened. I had my hair braided in January 2008, right when it was time to touch-up my relaxer. I took the braids out in late February and realized I had a lot of breakage. At the spur of a moment I called a co-worker that was previously a stylist. She was hesitant and tried to talk me out of it, but I left her house with a BIG CHOP!! I only had about two months of new growth, so it was really short.
My co-workers the next day were stunned. Everyone was starring and they had lots of questions. I work in higher education so it’s not uncommon to see natural hair styles througout the campus, but I don’t believe it was something they saw me doing. Most that worked there when I started natural in the past had moved on. My grandmother was not pleased. She thinks everyone should always have a perm and there is no changing her thoughts on it.
I can’t really explain what happened that I felt the need to do it so abruptly but I felt like such a load had been lifted with the cut. For a while I just wore my hair as is with leave-in conditioner on it. May 2008 I had comb twists done. These lasted about 4 weeks, so it was very convenient. September 2008 I started to wear two-strand twists. May 2009 I had my hair flat-ironed for the first time and I could not believe the length.
I am still researching and trying products but I do enjoy Miss Jessie’s shampoo and conditioners. I also use the Curly Meringue on my twist-outs. I wear twist-outs about 85% of the time. Carol’s Daughter’s Healthy Hair Butter is also something I use on a regular basis. I learned about banding from your blog so it’s been added to my options as of late. I purchased a Denman brush this past weekend and it worked fabulously with the banding. That is until it rained. I struggle with the humidity I face living on the Mississippi River. My greatest challenge is the amount of shrinkage I have to deal with. I am not comfortable with my hair as is, so I always have to do something to get the length and looseness I desire. That makes being natural a real chore.
Attached are pics of me w/ perm, comb twists, afro and straightened.
Uzuri, it sounds like you’ve learned a lot of lessons on your journey, some of them painful. Thank you for sharing them with us, so we can be aware. You are simply gorgeous with a TWA! A relaxer would not be worth of your beauty
So, my name is Uzuri and I have been natural since 4.14.2009. for many years I have had battles with my hair in regards to length and health because of damage done by my own hands. It was between that and just questioning why its almost mandated black women must straighten their hair for appeal and/or acceptance also triggered my Big Chop. But I still continued my weaves and relaxers, determined to damage my own beauty by chasing a beauty I would never be able to attain. Until the morning 04.14.2010, I called out of work, washed my hair and began snipping with craft scissors, lol. All the damage, all the pain fell to the floor of my room – and it felt good!
I grew my hair out for eight months, and discovered many things, for example my texture is 4b and 3c in the middle [weird, rite – lol] and that how you take care of yourself affects your hair health and growth. But in the midst of that time I had also become a product junkie and color fiend. Between all the regimens I’d Googled or Youtubed and my own “knowledge” I’d began to damage my hair yet again! And once more on 01.07.2010 I cut my hair in my bathroom and went to the barber to get it professionally cut the following day.
With this recommitment to my hair, I will now I stick to what I know! some of my fav products are Dr. Bronner’s Peppermint Liquid Soap, Olive Oil products [neutralizing shampoo and deep conditioner] and Tea Tree Oil. When my hair grows I will continue to use KCCC. Attached are some pics =)
I’ve been browsing your site for the past 4 months and love what your are doing. Let me tell you about my natural journey.
I BC on December 13, 1993. My hair was perfectly healthy. I’m currently 37 years old and have had a perm for 3 years of my life and a curl for 2 years. So, I guess one could say that I have been natural for 32 years, however I have only warn my hair in it’s natural state as follows. Birth to about 8 then my mother started pressing my hair every 2 weeks. After I BC(ed) I wore my hair in it’s natural state from 1993 until 2002. During that time I was in college and starting my professional career. Let me start with college. I attended Grambling State University and let me say I was the talk of the school since my hair was past my shoulders and thick and then I BC(ed) to about 2 inches.
The only compliments I got were from the Afro centric brother’s who Loved my boldness and my hair. My boyfriend at the time actually cut my hair. I woke up one morning gave him a call and asked him to finish what I had started. So he gave me a really nice curvy fro. From 1995 – 1996 I wore my hair in braided styles, which was all my own hair. At my graduation I wore my hair in a braided bun.
I graduated with a B.A. in Sociology. I interned at a Residential Treatment Facility. Much like my experience at Grambling I was the topic of conversation because of my hair. After graduating I worked as a Job Coach for Disabled adults, still rocking various versions of pulled back twist. I then worked as a Retirement Relationship manager in Corporate America wearing my hair in twist. Let me just say those were difficult times. The company I worked for moved to Minneapolis and me being a true Floridian could not even phantom living in a cold state.
I then started interviewing for positions as a Math teacher. I got interviews but no jobs. My husband recommended that I press my hair because; he knew how I felt about perms. Let me just say the first time I pressed my hair and interviewed I got the job. So from 2002 – 2009 my hair was pressed.
I would press my hair from late July until the first week of June the remained of the summer I would have my sister braid my hair. In 2007 I started interviewing for District Administrative positions after I obtained my Master’s in Educational Leadership, which meant since I could be called into an interview at the drop of a dime I felt as if I could no longer wear my hair in the natural state in the summer, because history had shown me the results if I did. Well in August 2008, I obtained a District level position that was 12 months and then obtained a District level Administrative position in December 2008.
Then I looked in the mirror. The differnce was I washed my hair in May because; I was playing with my 5 year old on Disney’s Private Island and got my pressed hair wet. So, I figured I would just wash it and twist it up. Yeah right!! my hair was 16 inches long and only 2 inches reverted back. Let me just say I did not enjoy the rest of my cruise. So I went online…paying the ridiculous fee to email at sea. I emailed my hairdresser about my hair and how upset I was about the condition of my hair. When I returned back to Florida, I called her and she said your hair is just trained. I didn’t have a clue about heat damage.
I then started doing my research and found your website. So June and July 2009, I tried to assist my hair in rehabilitating. So July 5, 2009. I grabbed a pair of scissors and just cut all hair that would not revert out. I tried braid out but didn’t like the results although my husband did. I wore braid outs from August to September 2009. In October I started getting my hair professionally coiled. I love the look and for the job I have it’s very professional, you know we naturals have to represent.
I plan on wearing my hair in Coils until the Spring. It’s my winter protective style. My daughter and I just watched your wet twist video. I tried in on my daughter and she loved it.
I’m still in the learning stages of wearing my hair natural. My hair is about 6 inches now. I’d like to do my own hair but haven’t had any success. Any suggestions?
I’m going to work on my hair during winter break. I want to be a natural who does her own hair.
Zionderu, thanks so much for this email. I love it for several reasons. First, I love to hear of natural women who have been major presences in the corporate, education, medical, and business worlds. I know that there are plenty of relaxed women in those positions as well, but it just seems that a larger portion of natural ladies experience career success.
Second, your story is a cautionary tale to those who use heat regularly. It’s very easy to become addicted to heat for whatever reason, but remember that there is always the potential for damage.
Third, I’m so happy that you’ve settled into coils. I absolutely love them and think they are perfect for the length that you’re at. You are totally able to do coils on your own hair at home. Practice makes perfect! Get on youtube and view tutorials to help! Here is my own coil tutorial if you haven’t seen it.
Stretched styles like twists outs and braid outs can be pinned back into updos if you’re feeling that you need a more “conservative” look. Rollersets, bantu knot outs, banding, and more are all at your fingertips.
It may take sometime to get the technique down (there was many a bad hair day for me!) but it will come with time. Keep reading, keep experimenting! Bravo to you for trying!
Tianna, I love it that you are a professional lady out there showing that natural hair can have many faces…from fun to upscale and executive. Thank you for sharing your story and fab hair!
KCurly,
I have finally curved out some time to share! So, I have been perming my hair for as long as I can remember. I remember the days of getting burned by the hot comb and the days of getting scalp sores from the perm. I also remember staring at my friends in college in disbelief as they cut off their hair and rocked their twas. I vowed that I would die with a perm in my hair.
Let me back up a bit. My cousin was my hairdresser since I was maybe 13 and she surely did have “growing hands” but I could never retain length (I also had rude dandruff that would never leave). I would have period of long and thick hair followed by periods of short and thin hair. I began transitioning during my second year of law school partly because I was pregnant with my son and did not want any chemicals to seep into my brain and affect his (I know) and also because my cousin was now over 100 miles away from me and I did not trust anyone else giving me a perm.
Anyway, I found a stylist in PA who pressed hair really well (I always got the “bone-straight) and I loved her especially because she got perm results with no chemicals. So, I assumed that my hair was strong because it was perm-free and it could withstand some color and highlights. Wrong. Just call me “Patches”. What was amazing was that the portions of missing hair that began growing back were soft, manageable and, dare I say it, CURLY!
So I cut it all off one day. Hated it. Started treating it and taking care of it and it grew, grew, grew. I was amazed and about 75% in love. Yet and still, I opted to wear wigs to work. Too afraid to show myself au natural at my whiteshoe law firm. I counted the number of natural attorneys at my job and could barely get to 5. I conformed. Until this past Monday when I decided to do away with the wigs (esp. since my fiance hid my “go to” wig- he does stuff like this all the time which is so very annoying lol). I wore my curly fro and I am never looking back.
My hair is in the most healthy condition it has ever been. No breakage. No damage. No dandruff. And, I am finally able to retain length. I love it! I am at 100% love now. No one can tell me anything (not even my momma who is dying to put a relaxer in my hair)! Phew. That’s my hair story and I am sticking to it!
Oh and I have also included a pic of me in all of my curly glory!
Thank you for the wonderful email, HerBrina! You look simply radiant! Keep recruiting those potential naturals!! Here’s her blog if you’d like to keep up with her: www.singlesassyandsaved.blogspot.com Hey My Natural Sister! First I would like to say that I love your blog and your hair!!!!! I have been debating for a long time whether [...]
We all love those natural hair tees! Here is a lady with some big beautiful hair that also makes some beautiful tees…about big beautiful hair! Thanks so much, Chime, for letting us see your hair and your great designs. You can visit Chime’s online store here. Not only does she have natural hair shirts, but [...]
Karen, thanks for sharing your story with us! You are so right about young girls and their hair. I am glad that yours are going to grow up with such a good example of how beautiful natural hair can be, both straight and in its natural state! Ya’ll are all beautiful! I just happened upon [...]
S.H. thanks for the pictures!! Congrats on hitting one year of being natural and congrats on that gorgeous hair!! I loved reading about your natural experience! Hey Lady, So I LOVE the blog! I check it daily and as soon as I realized our hair type was so similar I immediately learned to rely on your product reviews. [...]
I remember Gina from my early days of being a natural (haha, I’m still in the early days, no?) and consider her to be one of my “BC buddies” Not only is she rocking a beautiful head of hair, but she always has such a lovely smile! Check her out! During Winter 2007, I stumbled [...]
SA, an great writer and one of my first regular readers, has agreed to share her story with us for this series! This girl has some beautiful hair! Check her out at her blog, The Monotonous Life. Why did you go natural? I gotta tell you guys, I think I’m the one person that went [...]
Mandy is a natural that I truly admire. I watched her learn and grow on the hairboards. And believe you me, this lady has turned into a style master! Congrats on your first year natural, Mandy and thanks for sharing with us!! Click here to view her fotki for more pictures and great styles! Why [...]
Suburbanbushbabe (henceforth referred to as SBB) was gracious enough to grant me an interview about her transition to gray hair. SBB, already a lady in possession of a beautiful natural head of hair, is one of many helpful members of Curltalk and always ready with a good word of advice. As someone who plans to [...]
If I haven’t said it enough times, my one year anniversary of the BC is coming up at the end of this month. In addition to having the giveaway, I’m also going to feature a few other naturals who are also celebrating their one year! Here’s my first. Thank you Lei*Lei for sharing your story [...]
Thanks for reading! Remember that our hair is a gift and that it can blossom and grow if we take good care of it. If you have questions, want to share your story, or just want to say hi, please email me at kcurly@newlynatural.com
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