Kids and Hair

I ran into a very interesting situation.

I was shopping in a store when I felt a man staring at me. After giving him the side eye a few times, I finally asked there was something he needed. Can you tell I don’t like to be stared at?

He apologized and told me that he was staring at my hair. He was a middle aged man with a wedding band and he appeared sincere so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Here’s the gist of what he told me:

“I love to see black women wearing their hair natural. I have tried to get my wife to stop relaxing but she says she doesn’t like nappy hair. We have three daughters and my wife has relaxed the older one’s hair. I told her not to, but she did it anyway. She said with three heads of hair that there was no way anyone was going to be nappy for long.”

I told him how unfortunate I thought that was and suggested that if he offered to help do the girls’ hair, that maybe his wife would consent to letting them stay natural.

At this, he gave ME the side eye, and then burst into laughter. I asked him what was funny.

“Have you seen children whose dads get them ready for school? ”

I had immediate flashbacks of my son, two years old at the time, in high water pants, socks and sandals, dressed by his dad. I also thought about my own husband, who will barely touch our daughter’s hair.

I brushed those thoughts aside and told him that he could do it if he learned how. He shook his head and said “Nah, my wife would never let me”.

So, that has me thinking. A girl’s hair is usually the mom’s domain, unless mom is, for whatever reason, out of the picture. What about when dad is strongly against relaxing? Or being natural for that matter? Should dad be at least partly responsible for hair care if the decision lands in his favor? Should he have any say at all?

My first thought it is from a pro-natural standpoint. Of course, I believe that all little girls should be natural. I don’t like to see children, especially small children, relaxed. So, on that point, I am on the dad’s side.

However, as a mother, I am very territorial about my daughter’s hair. I would likely break some necks if a major decision/action was taken without my consent. Or if someone tried to take over the care of it.

Or if it looked a hot mess.

I’m torn on this one. What do you ladies think? And dont’ say that men  can’t do hair. Remember the white dad who does the hair of his adopted black daughter. 

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