Kcurly with freshly relaxed hair for her senior portraits
Growing up, the women in my family never wore extensions or fake hair. Only those “ghetto girls” wore braids, period. We relaxed our hair, wore it neatly coiffed or in a bun. No cornrows, no fingerwaves, none of that.
I was always still curious about these styles, though. I remember grilling a friend about how braids were put in. I was especially curious about burning the ends of the synthetic hair. Testing the waters, I casually mentioned to my aunt that I was thinking about getting braids.
She reacted as if I’d just told her I was thinking about drinking my own urine.
“Please don’t do that” she said, shaking her head with a look on her face that practically added “you idiot” to her request.
Around that time is when I probably decided that the more “Americanized Afrocentric” styles (I just pulled that term out of you-know-where) just weren’t for me. They weren’t professional and as a marine biologist, I would need professional hair. No I’m not a marine biologist, I’m a nurse. The whole marine biology was right after my serious realization that I did not really want to be the President. Ahh, youth…!
I was in high school when multicolored waterfalls, fingerwaves, and gel shellacked updos were all the rage. Ya’ll know what I’m talking about.
As I’ve said in this post, it seemed everyday I was asked why I didn’t “do” something with my hair. In addition to just not wanting these styles, I was also quite poor and could not afford to have these things done. (Ok, ok, I had fingerwaves done ONE time and was made fun of so much, that I never got them again!)
Hmm…I was going somewhere with this post…oh yeah…
Alright, so fast forward to my transition, where my poor little brain still thought I was going to be just washing my hair everyday and wearing it out. I started looking through all of the fotkis of beautiful natural ladies sporting twists, braids, and cornrows.
Although I could appreciate how beautiful the styles were on them, I could never see myself wearing those styles. I remember distinctly thinking that I would look like “Da Brat” walking around with twists in my hair. Though I was a stay at home mom at the time, I thought I could definitely never return to work with such styles. And bantu knots? Forget about it!
I guess I can thank my hair and its dryness for pushing me into protective styling. Granted, these first styles were a rough prototype of the firm twisting routine I have now.
Here are some things I slowly came to realize about twists, twist outs, braids, and cornrows:
- Natural hair = Versatility. I could never sport all of the styles I do with my natural hair if I were relaxed.
- Twists, coils, and twist outs can be professional. As long as my hair is neat and well groomed, I dare anyone to say anything to me about my hair not being professional. I also know now that what makes the most professional is not my hair, but my job performance and abilities.
- This is what’s best for my hair. I’m not saying all naturals need to utilize these styles. I know a lot of ladies do not care for these hair styles or their hair does not readily accept twists and coils. But for me, and a lot of people, keeping my hair like this for the majority of them time helps it thrive.
- As a former waitress, and a current nurse in an ICU setting, time management is so very important to me. I’m also a mom, so I don’t always have time to do my hair everyday. Waking up, shaking out my twists, spritizing on a little moisturizer, and being on my way is priceless!
- Just as I had to accept my natural hair texture, I also had to accept that what I was taught to be appropriate as a child may not have been right. That’s not to say that I still don’t have a bit of those ideas in my head but with different reasons behind them. I have never had a weave and still probably will never get one…though the reasons are of a more personal nature. I will probably never get extensions with braids. My own hair holds braids for a long time, why bother? I still hate the gel shellacked updos and waterfalls, sorry!! I now love locs and have considered locing a time or two.
Somebody reading this might be saying “But Kcurly, I just know that I won’t look right with twists!”
Well, maybe you won’t like twists. Or maybe you have preconceived notions about such styles as I once did. It’s funny how we can change. And change doesn’t happen overnight.
Ooor maybe you just don’t think you will like them with the shape of your face. Whatever it is, I beg you to at least try the styles in question. You may be surprised. I know I was.
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Ok I jest of course, but I think it would be nice if they had a realistic diagram with an actual explanation of how their product works. I long ago stopped believing in hocus pocus so ya’ll aren’t fooling me with the magic swirls, Just for Me.
And the flat ironing is getting tiresome. I’m turning up the heat as high as it will go and my hair is still not as straight as I want. I also broke the teeth on my blowdryer comb.
