Hello there! My name is Sherrye and I am interested in starting a blog or website in reference to natural hair as well. I wanted to know how did you get started? Also, I would like for my blog or site to be lucrative……how do I go about making money from the site? Just curious.

Thanks for the email Sherrye! I would type up a new response, but Afrobella did a wonderfully thorough post on this awhile back. Here’s the link. She’s been in the blogging game for a long time, so she knows far better than me. I hope that helps and good luck in your endeavors!

Hello. My name is April.  I started growing my hair out and stopped getting perms about 3 years ago.  I had a really short haircut that was shaved in the back(see pic).  I figured this was the best way to go natural with out having the BC.  Ever since Ive been growing out my hair I have been pressing it about every 2 to 3 weeks with the pressing comb and daily use of the flat iron.  I am not wanting to wear my hair in the more natual and beautiful curly styles.

I have  afew questions.  Last week I tried the 2 strand twist out with IC fantasia aloe olive oil gel.  It turned out ok but my hair looked extremely dry and the style only lasted 3 days.  Also parts of my hair are very straight even after washing.  Its the parts in the from of my hair.  Today I am trying the twist out with Miss Jessie’s curly pudding.  I am having a hard time getting my twists to stay so its more like a combination of twists and bantu knots.  I need to know what styles and products I can use as I transition out of pressed hair.  I would say I have a 3c-4A hair type.  I have also enclosed a pic of my straight pressed hair.  I havent taken any with of the twist out yet I will tomorrow when I take this down.  I hope you can help me.  Thank you in advance for your time.

April

April, thanks for the email!

I’m sorry for your heat damage, that does make wearing natural styles harder.

First, I would dump the gel…or at least use it with something. Most gels alone are drying to the hair and not nourishing. Try using a butter or a leave in conditioner to do your twists instead (or under your gel).  Since your hair is also heat damaged, it needs some tender loving care.

Miss Jessie’s…ehh…if you find that you like, have at it! But I found it lacking, and probably wouldn’t use it for twists/twist outs. Also it’s not very cost efficient. You may also read this and this post for more ideas on moisture.

As for the straight ends, you will need to secure them with perm rods or another type of roller so that they will curl and also so your twists won’t unravel. In addition, a braid out (just braid the hair instead of twisting, still use the perm rods) might be better for getting definition than a twist out on hair that is straight.

For other styles, you can try cornrows, bantu knots/knot out, braids, kinky twists, etc…all the styles that transitioning ladies love.  Good luck to you and let us know how it goes!

Thanks so much to Robyn for sharing the story of her current transition with us! Robyn, kudos to you for looking ahead for the health of your family and yourself! You look like you’ve gotten into a good routine, which I think is crucial for low stress during transition. That flexi rod set is on fire, girl!

Hopefully she will let us know when she is all natural! Visit her at her blog.

Press and Curl

I never knew my hair without a relaxer.  I started doing my own hair at a very early age…relaxers and all!!!  As I got older, I discovered a close family friend and stylist and was in her chair every week!  I still did my own relaxers or gave her my “box perm” to put on my hair, because anything professional grade would burn my scalp so bad and chemical burns are the absolute worst!!!

My stylist and I had our hair routine down…every 4 weeks – relaxer and trim, every week wash and roller set, and every 6 weeks protein treatment/deep conditioner!  We didn’t put any direct heat on my hair at all!  My hair grew so long (past bra strap length at its longest!) and it was thick and healthy (if relaxing your hair every 4 weeks can still be considered healthy!)

When I was diagnosed with a rare medical condition my “natural” journey began without me even knowing it!  My hair fell out in the back and on the sides due to the many medications I was taking and all that hard work went down the drain (literally)…  It’s funny because I had so much hair, you really couldn’t see the breakage, I hid it well (for years) until so much fell out I had to cut it off to match the short strands underneath!!!  I was so upset!  I remember crying for weeks (not days…weeks!)

Surprisingly, my hair grew back really fast!  So, now since I have this condition that unfortunately, does not have a cure (yet!), I am forced to make a decision…my hair or my health!?!?  NOT a difficult decision to make!!!

Press and Curl

After my wedding, I decided…no more relaxers!!!  My husband and I want to start a family and I vow to be in the best health I can possibly be for myself and our family!!!

I am in my 5th month of transition and I am completely embracing the entire process!  The first 2 months of transition I wore micro braids, which worked well, but I wanted to start playing with my hair (especially my new growth!).  The last three months I have tried twist outs, braid outs, buns, flexi-rod sets, pony tails and pony puffs!  I have to say my hair really loves the flexi rod set the best!  It is a great hairstyle to hide my two textures and I can make this style last for at least 5 days!  I love it!

I am always on the hunt for products, but right now I am loving Miss Jessie’s Curly Meringue and a mixture of Shea Butter and Coconut Oil for my flexi-rod sets.  If it starts to look dry through the week, I just rub more of my butter/oil mix on my hair and I am good to go!

Thank you so much for the opportunity to share my story!

Flexi Rod Set with Flat Twists

Kcurly with freshly relaxed hair for her senior portraits

Growing up, the women in my family never wore extensions or fake hair. Only those “ghetto girls” wore braids, period. We relaxed our hair, wore it neatly coiffed or in a bun. No cornrows, no fingerwaves, none of that.

I was always still curious about these styles, though. I remember grilling a friend about how braids were put in. I was especially curious about burning the ends of the synthetic hair. Testing the waters, I casually mentioned to my aunt that I was thinking about getting braids.

She reacted as if I’d just told her I was thinking about drinking my own urine.

“Please don’t do that” she said, shaking her head with a look on her face that practically added “you idiot” to her request.

Around that time is when I probably decided that the more “Americanized Afrocentric” styles (I just pulled that term out of you-know-where) just weren’t for me.  They weren’t professional and as a marine biologist, I would need professional hair.  No I’m not a marine biologist, I’m a nurse. The whole marine biology was right after my serious realization that I did not really want to be the President. Ahh, youth…!

I was in high school when multicolored waterfalls, fingerwaves, and gel shellacked updos were all the rage. Ya’ll know what I’m talking about.

As I’ve said in this post, it seemed everyday I was asked why I didn’t “do” something with my hair. In addition to just not wanting these styles, I was also quite poor and could not afford to have these things done. (Ok, ok, I had fingerwaves done ONE time and was made fun of so much, that I never got them again!)

Hmm…I was going somewhere with this post…oh yeah…

Alright, so fast forward to my transition, where my poor little brain still thought I was going to be just washing my hair everyday and wearing it out. I started looking through all of the fotkis of beautiful natural ladies sporting twists, braids, and cornrows.

Although I could appreciate how beautiful the styles were on them, I could never see myself wearing those styles.  I remember distinctly thinking that I would look like “Da Brat” walking around with twists in my hair.  Though I was a stay at home mom at the time, I thought I could definitely never return to work with such styles. And bantu knots? Forget about it!

I guess I can thank my hair and its dryness for pushing me into protective styling. Granted, these first styles were a rough prototype of the firm twisting routine I have now.

Here are some things I slowly came to realize about twists, twist outs, braids, and cornrows:

• Natural hair = Versatility. I could never sport all of the styles I do with my natural hair if I were relaxed.
• Twists, coils, and twist outs can be professional. As long as my hair is neat and well groomed, I dare anyone to say anything to me about my hair not being professional. I also know now that what makes the most professional is not my hair, but my job performance and abilities.
• This is what’s best for my hair. I’m not saying all naturals need to utilize these styles. I know a lot of ladies do not care for these hair styles or their hair does not readily accept twists and coils. But for me, and a lot of people, keeping my hair like this for the majority of them time helps it thrive.
• As a former waitress, and a current nurse in an ICU setting, time management is so very important to me. I’m also a mom, so I don’t always have time to do my hair everyday.  Waking up, shaking out my twists, spritizing on a little moisturizer, and being on my way is priceless!
• Just as I had to accept my natural hair texture, I also had to accept that what I was taught to be appropriate as a child may not have been right. That’s not to say that I still don’t have a bit of those ideas in my head but with different reasons behind them. I have never had a weave and still probably will never get one…though the reasons are of a more personal nature. I will probably never get extensions with braids. My own hair holds braids for a long time, why bother? I still hate the gel shellacked updos and waterfalls, sorry!! I now love locs and have considered locing a time or two.

Somebody reading this might be saying “But Kcurly, I just know that I won’t look right with twists!”

Well, maybe you won’t like twists. Or maybe you have preconceived notions about such styles as I once did.   It’s funny how we can change. And change doesn’t happen overnight.

Ooor maybe you just don’t think you will like them with the shape of your face. Whatever it is, I beg you to at least try the styles in question. You may be surprised. I know I was.

Edit:11/21/09 I’m bumping this old post because there have been so many great comments made. I’m also bumping it for any newbies who might be thinking of this as an option!

I was walking to get lunch at work yesterday when I spotted a young lady with a little fro walking by. All naturals catch my attention since they seem to be few and far in between where I live. I didn’t say anything and continued talking on my cell phone. She interrupted me and told me she liked my hair and asked how I did it.

I hung up my phone ( Bye DH!) because if there’s someone to talk about hair with, I’m happy! I told her how I did my twists, what products I like, about my BC. I then asked her about her hair : how long she’d been natural and did she just recently BC.

Her: “Oh no, I used to wear it really short like a dude but started growing it out. But my boyfriend said it was too damn nappy and what was I going to do with it? I had to put a texture softener in it just to be able to comb through it”

I must’ve winced when I heard “texture softener” because she said “What?”

Me (going with honesty):” I just didn’t know that your hair was,um, chemically treated”

Her (confused): “It’s not. A texture softener is like a moisturizer…it just makes the hair softer so you can comb through it. I used the childrens’ version”

Ya’ll, this about bowled me over. I was pretty much done at this point because 1) lunch time was quickly coming to a close and 2) I couldn’t believe that she really thought this. I told her that a texture softener was a mild relaxer, gave her the names of a few sites I like to visit and said goodbye.

Just now I was on the Just for Me Texture Softener site to see if it was misleading. I am mad and a little disgusted by what I saw.

First, let me list the ingredients, which I could not find on the website. I apologize if they are there and I just missed them, but I ended up having to go elsewhere for ingredient info (from www.walgreens.com):

Water – Aqua , Petrolatum , Cetearyl Alcohol , Mineral Oil – Paraffinum Liquidum , Polysorbate 60 , Calcium Hydroxide , Propylene Glycol , PEG-75 Lanolin , Sodium Stearoamphoacetate , Aloe Barbadensis , Oleth-3 Phosphate , Linalool , Fragrance – Parfum , Water – Aqua , Guanidine Carbonate , Xanthan Gum , Denatonium Benzoate , Green 5 – CI 61570 , Green 8 – CI 59040 , Water – Aqua , Sodium Laureth Sulfate , Disodium Cocoamphodipropionate , Citric Acid , Polyquaternium-7 , PEG-120 Methyl Glucose Dioleate , Polysorbate 20 , Hydrolyzed Vegetable Protein PG-Propyl Silanetriol , Algae Extract , Aloe Barbadensis , PEG-150 Distearate , Tetrasodium EDTA , Phenolsulfonphthalein , Diazolidinyl Urea , DMDM Hydantoin , Iodopropynyl Butylcarbamate , Alpha-Isomethyl Ionone , Benzyl Salicylate , Butyl Phenyl Methyl Propional , Citronellol , Coumarin , Linalool , Fragrance – Parfum , Carthamus Tinctorius , Helianthus Annuus , Glycine Soja , Mineral Oil – Paraffinum Liquidum , Zea Mays , Limnanthes Alba , Lanolin Oil , Tocopheryl Acetate , Cetyl PEG/PPG-10/1 Dimethicone , Caprylic/Capric Triglyceride , BHT , Amyl Cinnamal , Citral , Limonene , Linalool , Fragrance – Parfum , Water – Aqua , Mineral Oil – Paraffinum Liquidum , Polyquaternium-22 , Hydroxyethylcellulose , Acetamide MEA , Panthenol , Hydrolyzed Keratin , Hydrolyzed Glycosaminoglycans , Sodium Cocoyl Collagen Amino Acids , Algae Extract , Hydrolyzed Vegetable Protein PG-Propyl Silanetriol , Simmondsia Chinensis , Tocopheryl Acetate , Aloe Barbadensis , Oleth-3 Phosphate , Sorbitan Stearate , Linoleic Acid , Linolenic Acid , Triticum Vulgare , Wheat Germ Acid , Propylene Glycol , Sorbitol , Cocoyl Sarcosine , Methylisothiazolinone , Methylchloroisothiazolinone , Fragrance – Parfum , Water – Aqua , Mineral Oil – Paraffinum Liquidum , Lanolin , Lanolin Wax , Petrolatum , Lanolin Oil , C12-15 Alkyl Benzoate , Hydroxylated Lanolin , Panthenol , Sorbitan Oleate , Sodium Borate , Methylparaben , Diazolidinyl Urea , Limonene , Fragrance – Parfum , Red 33 – CI 17200

And here are the ingredients for Soft and Beautiful Botanicals No Lye Relaxer (soft and beautiful also makes Just for Me):

Water Aqua , Petrolatum , Cetearyl Alcohol , Mineral Oil Paraffinum Liquidum , Polysorbate 60 , Calcium Hydroxide , Propylene Glycol , PEG-75 Lanolin , Sodium Stearoamphoacetate , Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Juice , Oleth-3 Phosphate , Fragrance Parfum , Water Aqua , Guanidine Carbonate , Xanthan Gum , Denatonium Benzoate , Green 5 CI 61570 , Green 8 CI 59040 , Water , Sodium Laureth Sulfate , Disodium Cocoamphodipropionate , Polyquaternium-7 , Lauramide DEA , Citric Acid , Polysorbate 20 , PEG-150 Distearate , Tetrasodium EDTA , Methylparaben , Diazolidinyl Urea , Phenolsulfonphthalein , Fragrance Parfum , Water Aqua , Glycereth-26 , Dimethicone Copolyol , Dimethicone Copolyol Meadowfoamate , Panthenol , Hydrolyzed Collagen , Helianthus Annuus Extract Sunflower , Achillea Millefolium Extract , Salvia Officinalis Leaf Extract Sage , Symphytum Officinal Leaf Extract , Lactic Acid , Silk Amino Acids , Acetamide MEA , Retinyl Palmitate , Tocopherol , Propylene Glycol , Polyquaternium-22 , Polysorbate 20 , Polyquaternium-11 , Methylchloroisothiazolinone , Methylisothiazolinone , Diazolidinyl Urea , Fragrance Parfum , Mineral Oil Paraffinum Liquidum , Ceresin , Petrolatum

The calcium hydroxide is the straightener for no lye hair relaxers and looks like they both have it.

I moved on to the “How texture softeners work” part of the site and was faced with this lovely diagram:

Notice the magic green swirls that this product contains to turn your bad hair to good hair(SARCASM!). What gets me is the claim to “gently soften while protecting your natural hair texture” That is so untrue that it’s funny. It completely changes it!

And the “tightly curled hair tangles causing breakage when combed” is misleading too. How about people ripping through tightly curled hair when it’s dry with a small toothed comb causes breakage?

I think that this diagram should be used instead of the first one to show “how texture softeners work”:

Ok I jest of course, but I think it would be nice if they had a realistic diagram with an actual explanation of how their product works. I long ago stopped believing in hocus pocus so ya’ll aren’t fooling me with the magic swirls, Just for Me.

Also on the site is a section called “Advice for Moms” from which I’ve taken this quote:

“By the time your daughter begins to interact socially with friends or family members or take in the many messages in the media, she will have some idea about her image and how others may view her. In order to ensure your daughter has a healthy self-concept, it is important to begin talking to her about her identity as soon as possible so that you can instill in her a strong self-esteem and a healthy self-image”

Orrrr it is important to begin making her feel that her natural hair is unmanageable and wrong, but don’t worry! You can infuse self esteem by loosening her curl pattern and giving her the healthy self image of ”good hair”.

On a serious note I understand what they were supposedly trying to do by including that section, but it kind of feels like it’s almost a joke  because the whole point of the texture softener is to make your hair, the way it grows naturally out of your head, into something else.

How can you have a healthy self image when really you don’t know what your true image is? If I get my “texture softened” at the age of 5, I don’t have a positive image of my hair that grows out of my head. I have a positive image of the hair that has been chemically treated to look like something else entirely. When that other stuff (the new growth) starts growing in, then I have a problem and feel self concious.

(Just a disclaimer, the following paragraph is full of sarcasm). To add insult to injury, the site also includes a link to a blog by a mom who is pretty much is just another advertising mechanism. I read through a few of the posts one of which was entitled “Options for Natural Hair”. It said you pretty much had three choices: First you can comb it everyday , but it’s just gonna tangle anyway. Second, you can use “temporary” treatments, I’m assuming she means moisturizers, but that will just cost too much because if your hair is really thick you’re going to have to use tons. Lastly (enter the calvary) you can use Just for Me Texture Softener and all your problems will be solved.

Don’t be fooled ladies. If  you have just BC’d and are looking for softer hair, please don’t run to products like these (texturizers, texture softeners, texlaxers) first. Do your research, you can find other methods of dealing with your hair without reintroducing the chemicals.

People who relax/texturize their hair and know the many options of natural hair and still choose to relax are well in their own rights to make that choice. It is a choice, one I will not be making, but I wish these companies would just come out and say exactly what their product is instead of trying to make it seem like something else.

I hope you enjoyed my first rant of the New Year!

Hi Kcurly,

I just want to say that I really truly enjoy your web page. It is very informative. I am in the process of going natural for the 2^nd time. I went natural about 3 years ago, and did the BC after about 5 mths. Well because I hadn’t done much research, once my hair started growing I had no idea what to do with it, so I ended up relaxing it again.

I decided to go natural again for the sake of my scalp. I have sebborheic dermatitis of the scalp, so my scalp is constantly irritated. So of course putting the relaxer on my hair is only making my scalp 10x worse (I have no idea why it took me 30 yrs to figure this out).

So once I decided it would be in my scalp and hairs best interest to let the “creamy crack” go I started getting more information about styles, products, etc. My last relaxer was April 25^th, and I have decided to do a long transition and not to do a BC this time. My hair is shoulder length, and I really don’t want to lose all of that. I mean I know I will have to lose some, but not all.

I am transitioning with braids and straw sets. I love your website because it helps me in knowing what things to look for in products. I am using your homemade spritz for my braids right now, and I really like it. I also use it on my daughter’s twists. She’s 9, and I’m trying to teach her how to learn to take care of her hair, and let her know she doesn’t need to get a perm like mommy did to have pretty hair.

Anywhoo, I’ve taken up enough of your time. I just wanted to say thanks for the site, and to keep up the great work. I look forward to seeing your posts. I don’t have a BC pic but I do have a 3 mth post relaxer and a fresh protective style pic.

P.S.  – Your weight loss is VERY inspiring. I’m in the process of trying to lose about 50 lbs. It’s hard work, but I’m determined. So keep up the good work.

God Bless!!

Lakeah

Lakeah, thanks for the email! I am glad that you included your former experience about BCing without having done any research. Not having a clue what to do afterwards can quickly lead to frustration which in turns quickly leads to a return to the  creamy crack. Your hair is looking great and you seem to be handling the transition process really well ( I wish I’d looked that good during mine!) .  I know your daughter is going to appreciate your hard work on her hair and really look up to you for transforming your own.

Good luck on the weight loss, we are in this together!

As I look back over this last year, I can pinpoint where things began to change…not only in my routine, but also in the way that I felt about this hair of mine. To really tell the whole story, I will have to begin before the BC.

I’m writing each section in present tense and I’ve bolded the particularly ridiculous items. Yes I admit that I used to be an idiot in my way of thinking. Or rather, I never questioned what was always taught to me growing up. Some of this was hard for me to write and I’m rather ashamed of it, but I feel it’s necessary for me to get it out there because some of you might be feeling the same way.

Some of these lines were actually taken from a journal I was keeping at the time. The rest is by memory.

A constant thought in the back of my head…

K-relaxed

K-relaxed: I’ve always been one to wonder what natural hair would be like. I remembered it being curly as a child, and wouldn’t I love that again? Long and curly hair. It might actually grow past my shoulders, down my back. Yes, a tumbling mass of luscious loose curls. I do after all have good hair, right? Everyone’s always told me so.

But my hair is long. I mean, it gets long sometimes. Sometimes it’s a little bit down my back, but it usually breaks off again back to shoulder length. Oh well, I can’t have short hair. I don’t have the face for it, I’m not Halle Berry afterall. If only, if only…

The chance arises…

K-convinced:

My best friend just announced that she is going to go natural. She was home for the holidays and when offered by her mom to relax her hair, she refused. We’d been talking about it for ages and now she’s actually doing it. Well ya know what? It’s been like 2 months since my last relaxer, so I’m going to do it too.

She’s going to cut hers off though. As I said before, I can’t do that because I just don’t have the face or body for it. She on the other hand can rock a short fro with no problem. No, I’m going to have to grow it out and just press or flat iron my hair until it grows at least shoulder length. (Or if I chicken out, then I won’t have lost all my hair)

Wait, I might just not cut it off ever, just leave the relaxed ends on and let it get as long as possible. I’ve already discussed it with DH and he’s on board, as long as I don’t cut it. I’ll be natural, just have pressed hair primarily and, every now again, wear it curly. I’m so lucky to have a good grade of hair.

I’ve got a good inch or so of new growth already. I’ve been looking up hair types online and I’m convinced that I’m mostly 3b, maybe some 3c. The front of my hair has wavy new growth, so it’s got to be really loose, right? Well, whatever, I can find out my hair type as it gets longer. This is going to be easy.

5-6 months into transitioning

K-unsure:

WTF? I just tried to comb through my hair (with my fine toothed comb on dry hair) and it’s left me in tears. Also, the more my hair grows in , the more I noticed that the hair in the back is not as wavy as the front. It kind of...kinks up…and I broke my comb back there. Everytime I comb my hair it comes out in handfuls and I’ve noticed a lot of breakage.

Also, I tried to use some African oil I found at the dollar store and soaked my hair in it after shampooing. The oils are what I need now that I’m natural, right?. Well, that stuff left a big oil spot on my new sheet set And the flat ironing is getting tiresome. I’m turning up the heat as high as it will go and my hair is still not as straight as I want. I also broke the teeth on my blowdryer comb.

I’ve decided maybe I need to try another style. I saw something called a twist out on a website and I think I’ll try that. I’m also looking into a texturizer. I think that will make the relaxed parts of my hair curly or krinkly and it will blend better.

K-fed up:

My best friend did the BC herself a few months ago. I don’t know what to do, but I know that I can’t go on like this. Nothing is working and I’m tired of fighting my hair. Also, the more I look online at Fotkis and stuff, I see all of this great curly hair and I sooo know mine will be like that. I’ve got about 3 inches or so, and I want to cut it off.

There are like no natural hair salons around here, but a lady I called said that I would need to go to a barber. I just don’t like the sound of that. I think I will ask my friend to do it. I ask her every couple of days to come on over and then I change my mind. I’ve already bought some shears.

I talk about it with DH every now and again. He thinks I should just be patient and keep pressing my hair. I want to cut it. It’s starting to eat at me. I know he will hate it, but it will grow. I know he doesn’t like afros, but I don’t have an afro, I have curly hair. I even cut a big chunk of my nape hair to see how it would be. It’s not quite what I imagined, but maybe the nape will be different than the rest of my hair? Yes, that’s it.

K-freakingout:

I called my friend over, she wet my hair and went to work. I had her hand me each piece of hair that she cuts off and I held in my hand, excited but also in shock. I told her to leave a bit more in the front, because I’d seen someone’s fotki where she was able to pin her hair back in the front and I could do the same thing.  After all my hair wasn’t going to be an afro, it would have some hang.

As I looked in the mirror, what did I see but a bushy fro. Ok, ok, I just needed to wash it and it would look like those people on Fotki. Hold on…washing, washing…no, still a fro. I tried not to cry in front of my friend. She hands me a afro pick and tells me to pick it out, that I could have an awesome fro.

I try to pick it out like she says and it hurts so badly. I also can feel strands popping. My friend looks at me and asks if I’m mad at her. I answer her truthfully…no, but I’m sure mad at myself.

I decided to take a picture of how my face looked whenever I'd lookin the mirror!

I finally end up wrapping my hair with a scarf before DH gets home. He knows I’ve cut my hair, but doesn’t ask to see it. I don’t think he wants to. The next day, I flat iron the heck out of it and it still sticks up quite a bit. Siiigh, this sucks. Good thing I’m a stay at home mom and don’t have to reveal my hair right now.

K-newlynatural:

It’s about a week after the BC, and it’s my birthday. My best friend and I are going to a concert and my DH and son are going to be out of town. I keep feeling my head. It feels so empty without all of the hair that’s always there. It doesn’t feel like my head.

Time to wash it and try to do something. I’ve been reading up a lot of sites like Black Hair Media Forum, Long Hair Care Forum, NaturallyCurly.com, and Nappturality. I focus mostly on NC.com because I want curl definition badly. I’ve washed my hair a tons of times, combed it out and still just frizzy curls. Argh, I know I can have great hair, I just need to find the secret!!

I need to go out with my friend in public and I have no idea how to wear my hair. I’ve twirled a few pieces of hair during yet another failed wash n go and it makes awesome coils. Maybe these are finger coils? I get out the gel and get to work on the rest of my hair. It takes 4 hours, but it looks…well it looks good.

I wear it out to the concert and can’t keep my hands out of my hair. This night, the night of my birthday, was the night I fell in love with my hair.

K-onamission:

Curl definition…gotta have it. The problem is the products I use. I need fancier, more expensive products. This will make my hair curl and also make it lay down. I heard Aveda Be Curly is awesome. It cost 18 bucks and we barely had enough to pay my student loans this month, but it will be worth it if I can have a wonderful wash n go! I mean, I’ve gone through all of the drug store curl creams and conditioners, this HAS to work.

I sought advice on NC.com and those ladies said something about making sure my hair was moisturized, to DC…what? I want curls most importantly. I mean, moisture’s great and all, but I want my hair to look like I’d always pictured. Ok, my hair is dry and crackly when it’s completely dry, but when it’s wet, it looks great. I learned a lot of techniques for curl definition…but my hair is still dried out. Protective styling? Twists, braids…? I’ve never worn stuff like that in my life and I will not look right with them.  Also I just don’t know how to do them! No, wash n go’s are the way for me!

Everyone talks about KCCC. I’ve seen the before and after pictures. This will work on my hair. I order the KCCC and put a little on my hair. Still a fro. Ok, need more…and more…and nearly 1/4 of the container is gone and… I look like I should be dancing in Thriller and my hair is sticky as heck.Hmm, I read online that it works better with Knot Today, if I order that then my hair will look like the ladies on the “after” pictures…

I wont become a product junkie, I just need to find product that make my hair do what I want. Sigh, time to buy some more scarves and headbands.

K-almost there:

So I decided to do the protective styling. I’m tired of washing my hair everyday. I’ve gone through products like crazy and I just don’t want to deal with it for awhile. I’m going to practice twists, which look great in the front and HORRID in the back and sides, and just wig it up until then. That way my hair can grow and then I can do more with it.

I’m learning more and more everyday. I’m still trying out different products. I’ve learned that silicones are not good for my hair (who knew??) and have tried to eliminate them, but I’ve ordered Miss Jessie’s which does have silicones, but if I use it just every now and again, it should be ok, I think.

My twists are looking better! I actually wore them out in  public the other day and got a compliment! My hair feels great lately, especially when it’s in a twist or twist out. They are not the best, but they are improving! Maybe I can wear these after all. The twist out usually look pretty good if I do say so myself.

Kcurly:

I’m getting the hang of this natural hair thing. I do have hair practices that lead to curl definition, but these are not what rule my daily practices. I want my hair to grow and be healthy. I’ve learned that hair health is most important.

I’ve got a pretty good routine down now…wear protective style for a week or so, wash and do a wash n go, and then back to protective styling. I’d say the most important practice I have is deep conditioning.

As for styling products…I’ve learned to use them to work with my hair  instead of  against it.I don’t what hair type I have…all I know is that I love whatever hair I have. I’m still a PJ but my drug of coice is only quality products that work to improve the health of my hair.

Take a look at a long term transitioning expert. You’ve seen me mention Mook before when referring to her wonderful video on kinky twists, but lucky for us she has agreed to be interviewed!! Thanks Mook, you are such an inspiration!!

Kcurly: What were the factors in your decision to go natural?

Mook: Its a long story but here’s the whole thing. I started off with surprisingly healthy and thriving relaxed hair. But as my hair was getting longer, it was becoming more difficult to self relax and do my touchup fast enough.

This is one of the main reasons why I am transitioning to natural other than just wanting to
know what my natural texture will be.

In March 06 I did my touchup and wound up with a chemical burn in my scalp. A few days later – sitting at my desk at work, I accidentally scratched the scab off and the bleeding was out of control (very odd,
like nothing I’ve experienced before). Really, I thought I was gonna have to go home the blood was rolling down my scalp & down my neck from the one smaller than a dime sized burn/scab.

The following week I broke my leg in a severe car accident and was hospitalized and on blood thinners which did not allow the burn in my scalp to heal properly causing an explosion of blood vessels in my scalp about the size of a kidney bean, which a dermatologist later removed without a problem. She called it a pyogenic melanoma.

So as a result, I decided that from then on I would have professionals do my touch-ups and do long stretches in between. September 2006 I went for a touch up and it came out great. Feb 2007 I went to the same salon for my touchup and they did a horrible job. I even had 2 small chemical burns.

I get home and find that My roots are only partially relaxed and there are spots where he did not bring the relaxer down far enough from my scalp so there are mid-strand areas that are unrelaxed. yikes! I waited 8 1/2 weeks and went back for a corrective on April 17 and because of the nature of the problem, they had to pull the relaxer down over previously relaxed areas (but not the whole strand). The result was good, & I was
pleased, until the receptionist tried to charge me for the re-do. Up to this point I had been very happy with the level of customer service at the salon. NO I DIDN’T PAY but I wasn’t happy anymore.

I was reading more and more about the dangers of relaxers and finally decided to stop getting relaxers about 2 months later.

Kcurly: Why did you decide to transition long term as opposed to doing the BC?

Mook: When I started my transition, I was already armpit length. My husband & I both prefer long hair (on me) and I was not interested in cutting off my hair. So I decided to maintain my length by just trimming as it grows. I
found great inspiration by looking through the albums of other long term transitioners.

Kcurly: How long have you been transitioning and how much relaxed hair do you have left? How often do you cut the relaxed ends?

Mook:I have been transitioning for 23 months. I can hardly believe it myself. In the back all of the relaxed hair is gone but on the top and front I still have about 1.5 inches of
relaxed hair left.

Kcurly: What are the styles that you usually wear?

Mook: Cornrows Braidouts Twistouts

Kcurly: What is your favorite style?

Mook: Cornrows.

Kcurly: If you’ve read my blog you know I have to ask this question. What are your staple products and do you consider yourself to be a product junkie and/or have pj tendencies?

Mook: I am still trying to build a solid regimen. My staples change from time to time and unfortunately some of my beloved products were discontinued leaving me heart broken. Yes I’m a PJ but I do restrict myself sometimes so that I don’t get out of control.

Here are my current staples

Aussie Moist poo & conditioner
Matrix So Sleek poo & condish
ORS Replenishing Conditioner
Silicon Mix
Mane & Tail Moisturizing Conditioner
Bee Mine Curly Butter and Growth Serum
CHI Silk Infusion
Elasta QP Mango Butter
Kid Organix Detangling lotion
Silk Amino Acids.
Coconut Oil

Kcurly: In your opinion, is transitioning as hard as people usually complain that it is?

Mook: Hmmm, transitioning short term I’d have to say no, not at all. Longterm transitioning can be very difficult if you don’t have patience. Even if you are patient, it’s definetely not the easiest thing in the world
there are many ups and downs and strange changes to navigate but I think it is excellent preparation for having a full head of natural hair. And I must say that there is no need to fear that your hair is going to fall off at the demarcation line. There will be some level of breakage but if you’re careful you can maintain.

Kcurly: Have you received any opposition from friends and/or family about going natural and, if so, how do you handle this?

Mook: In the beginning a cousin on my husband’s side of the family laughed and told me I couldn’t do it. She said my hair was too thick and that I’d give up. It only motivated me more. Then one day my Mom (not fully understanding my choice) told me it was time for me to get a touch up and asked me when I was going to relax it. I explained that I wasn’t going to be doing that anymore. She thought I was just going to be stretching for long periods, not eliminating relaxers all together. But after I explained it, she was on board because she knows that I’m good with hair. My husband and friends have been a great support system through this journey. They provide wonderful encouragement.

Kcurly: What is the number one hair practice you have that promotes the overall health of your hair?

Mook: When I am at home I keep my hair oiled and covered with a silk scarf. When you’re lounging around hair will rub on your clothes, chairs, & couches causing damage. Keeping it covered prevents this kind of damage.

Kcurly: What is your biggest piece of advice to those who are transitioning?

Mook: Be patient and seek help. I don’t know if I would have made it without a support system. I got lots of advice and examples from other transitioners on hair boards, blogs and forums. There will be ups and downs but hair is very resilient and you can get through it. And here’s my best trick…If you get discouraged and feel the urge to relax, but you know you really don’t want to…Go to the sink and wet your head. By doing this you’ll render yourself unable to relax without burning and then the urge will pass.

"April 07--Air dried relaxed hair-Start of transitioning"

"October 07- 6 months into transition freshly self-trimmed & flat ironed"

"May 08 - 13 months spiraled with a flat iron see the fluffiness of the type 4 natural roots?"

"December 2008 tried to flat iron again."

"Jan 2009 Blown out, moisturized and sectioned to prepare for kinky twist installation"

"March 2009 moist twists"

More pictures of Mook’s lovely tresses can be found at her fotki (no pw needed).  She also has more exceptional video tutorials on youtube.

Ah, the teenie weenie afro. Liberating for some, a puzzle for others, and a beautiful thing in general. But it can be frustrating once you get rid of those relaxed ends. What now? Here are a few ideas/experiences that I’ve had concerning the TWA.

Of course you have more options with a few inches of hair as opposed to a closly cropped fade, but that doesn’t mean you can’t thoroughly enjoy your TWA experience.

Just wash n go:

This is the simplest option. Really your TWA doesn’t need that much styling. I know most of you who’ve just BC’d can’t wait for your hair to grow, grow, (dammit grow!) but it does take time and trying to kill yourself making a simple style complicated  is not going to help.

One day you may see yourself wishing for those days when you had a 5 minute detangling session instead of a 20 minute one. Wash n go, moisturize as needed, tie up your hair with a silk/satin scarf at night. I sure wish I’d kept it more simple during those days.

Texture Playground has an awesome series this week on wash n go’s.

Gettin’ wiggy with it:

Not my best wig, but the only picture I have right now.

As much as I despise the dependency a lot of women have on wigs, they do make good protective styles. They are especially useful if you are not yet comfortable with your TWA just yet.

Let’s face it, some people can BC 5 weeks after their last relaxer and rock a fade without a problem while some of us (yes, US, as in me too ladies!!) would rather hide under a rock after the BC because we are afraid. Everyone may not agree with this, but I think a wig helps while you are getting used to your new hair. You may even choose to get a wig that moreso resembles natural hair if you like.

I would encourage everyone to take care with your hair under the wig. Cornrow, braid or twist it underneath and don’t neglect it. Continue your healthy hair habits. I personally do not like a nylon cap directly against my hair and choose to wear a satin bonnet or scarf under the nylon cap. Make sure it’s not too tight as this can cause problems with your edges. Also beware of having your head wet under the wig for long periods of time.

And try not to hang onto the wig for too long. You have a beautiful head of hair under there that wants to be released. Don’t deny it.

Braids with extensions or kinky twists:

Dukie braids, anyone?

Another idea is to braid your hair up. This will allow it to grow and is a good protective style. Make sure you have a good braider (if you’re not doing them yourselves) who does not braid too tightly or put stress on your edges. You don’t need traction alopecia messing up your beautiful new head of hair.

I had to use Janet’s picture because I’ve never had braids with extensions.

Fingercoils/combcoils

I wish I had a picture of my first set of fingercoils on my 3-4 inches of hair, but I never got a picture that day.  Click here to see an example of what I mean. I remember loving it though, even though some of them were sticking up.  This style can take some practice and experimenting to do, but it can be done on short hair. Some ladies don’t like the look of it on shorter hair, but I’ve always thought it was an adorable style.

Twists/Twist outs

I didn’t really care for twists on my TWA but I liked my twist outs. They can still give you a different pattern. Also something that takes practice and experimenting.

Banding

If you are a little put off by the shrinkage, you can try banding. This is a good way to stretch your hair out a bit without using potentially damaging heat. It can also, depending on how it’s done, give the hair a more wavy appearance. See more information about banding here.

Straightening

I hesitate to even recommend that option since I am pretty adamant that one should get used to their hair in its natural texture before running to the hot comb. Heat straightening can be damaging to your newly liberated locks and, until you get used to your new hair and what it can and can not handle, extreme heat may not be advisable.

Some ladies do like to use a blowdryer on a cool setting and a comb attachment to do a blow out. Rollersetting may be hard to do on shorter hair but it’s not impossible. If you decide to, flat iron with care and be sure to use a heat protectant.

Hair thingies

Accessories can be your best friend with a TWA. Scarves, headbands, head wraps, flowers all make your beautiful TWA even more beautiful.

Little golden lamb (who was once natural but is now relaxed) really knew how to accessorize her TWA with flowers and scarves. I personally really stuck to scarves and bought everyone that I could find.

Head or hair wraps are also a way to go. They are beautiful and cover the hair completely. Here is a guide on how to wrap your hair in various ways. I always wanted to try these and have just recently ordered some to try. I think, done correctly, these can be a sophisticated style.

Things to keep in mind about your TWA:

• Any relaxed ends may effect the look and feel of your hair. If you are hanging on to an inch or so of relaxed ends for length, but your hair is not “acting right”, you may want to consider cutting them off.

• Keep it simple. You can drive yourself crazy trying to complicate things

• Gels and gel like products are great, but remember to focus on moisture  and health first and foremost.

• It takes a mental transition to get comfortable with your TWA as well as physical. Give yourself time.

Some articles you might find interesting:

NewlyNatural-What makes me a woman

Motown Girl-Q&A TWA’s

Texture Playground-The TWA days

Natural Hair Digest-Disadvantages of Cutting it Off

I was sitting and wishing I could go back in time and tell my Transitioning Self certain things that my NewlyNatural Self knows now. I will probably make this into a 3 part post, but here are the first couple of mistakes I made once I decided to go natural. Enjoy and apply if necessary!

Combing dry hair

Remember Sunday afternoon? It’s hair washing day at the Kcurly household and I’m in for hours of pain.  If only my mom (and countless other mothers) had known what I know now. Small toothed combs and dry kinks and curls do not mix, no matter how much Blue Magic you apply. They don’t even like to be in the same room together.

I still tried to perform this self torture after my BC. There was frustration, there were tears, there were several combs broken clean in two. It may not be  true for every natural, but combing dry hair hurts, it damages the hair, and it also takes forever. Now I only comb (or brush with my Denman)with a wide toothed comb and when my hair is wet and soaked with conditioner. And when I can get away with it, I ditch the tools all together and use my God given comb–my fingers!

“Juices and berries”

Once my decision was made to go natural, I just knew that I would now be using oils, maybe a little berry juice.  I got a horrendous oil concoction from the Dollar Store, put gobs of it on my hair, wrapped it up with a scarf and went to bed, smug in my certainty that I was a natural gal now and only needed a bit of oil to take care of my hair. After all, it worked for Akeem, and he was able to grow that long pony tail…why not me?

When I woke up the next morning, not only was my pillow stained and greasy (those were new pillowcases too!!) but my hair still felt crunchy.  Now I know that oils are great for my scalp and for sealing in moisture, but this is not usually all that I need to keep my hair soft and moisturized. Actually, juiced and berries might have been better than that cheapo oil.

Natural is as natural does

I knew that my natural hair was going to be different than my relaxed hair, but I really had no idea. I still expected it to be the same as before, just curly, maybe a little bigger. I had no idea that natural hair:

• Shrinks as it dries, about 60 percent shorter than it’s actual length

• Has sheen, not shine

• Usually does not move unless there is a very strong wind or it’s in a twist or twist out

• Could tangle and knot, if not prevented

• Grew out and down, not just down

Knowing all of this would’ve saved me a lot of headache trying to make my hair into something it wasn’t meant to be, just as it wasn’t meant to be relaxed and straight.

Here is part 2!

My transition was quite a whirlwind of misinformation and product usage gone awry. But one thing that I learned was to love the twist out! That is what I mostly did during my transitoning, along with flat ironing my hair. Of course now I know that there are a lot more styling options out there, but I will always love the twist out.

I’d do pretty big twists on wet hair, let it air dry overnight, and then separate the twists into 2 or 3 each. This would last about 2 days if I tied it down well at night. After it started looking ragged I would just comb (either with a widetoothed comb or loosely with my fingers) it out to get a super huge wild looking twist out.

Fresh Twist Out-Transitioning

Wild Twist Out- Front

Wild Twist Out - Back